How π˜•π˜–π˜› to travel Europe #5 – This episode was too eventful to name

How π˜•π˜–π˜› to travel Europe #5 – This episode was too eventful to name


– [Man] It’s okay, it’s okay. (light music) – You rejoin us at a difficult time. We’ve been out hitchhiking
in the blaring sun for the past seven and a half hours now. The last five of which was spent marooned here in Hungary, who’s people we were beginning to take a mild disliking to. Meanwhile, over at the Austrian border, Sam was stood in his
garage staring vacantly at the two shiny bicycles
that he’d found for us, thinking what a shame it
would be if they never got to star in the final
chapter of our journey. Then, the phone rang. Really? Oh mate, that’s incredible. Are you sure? Mate, that’s amazing. Sam was coming to get us. It was a miracle from out the blue. So you don’t know how
much this is helping. The trip was saved and all our worries were over. Thanks mate, thanks. All right, bye. Including the threat
of our stomachs folding in on themselves. The only downside was a sense of guilt that Sam had to drive
100 miles to come get us, but that feeling was soon replaced by the excitement that came with the smell of frying Jerry’s courgette. Living off the land mate It’s not exactly the way that
you might have envisioned, but technically we’re
passing the challenge. – Oh mate, these are getting soft, yeah. – [Tom] There it is. Can’t wait to tuck into this, I’m fucking ravenous. All it needed was a bit of seasoning and we were good to go. Greg somehow managing to polish
his off before I even had a chance to turn the camera on. (bell dinging) We both could’ve eaten that meal again. So we did. I mean Sam wouldn’t be
here until 10:00 p.m., so we could afford to eat, relax, and enjoy this lovely evening. Turns out the local youths
congregate at the petrol station on a Tuesday evening, so
we were doubly pleased to see Sam and his dad, Robert roll up. – Hi guys, what’s up?
– How’s it going mate? – Thank you so much.
– Finally here. – Yeah, yeah.
– Hello. Greg hi, nice to meet you.
– Hey man I’m Tom. – [Robert] Hey, nice to meet you. – [Tom] Unfortunately the
footage is far too dark to make anyone out, but the four of us had some incredible,
albeit a bit depressing, philosophical discussions
about society, politics, and the future. – Yeah.
– The only possible outcome is war. But that’s really fucking depressing. – [Tom] And those
insightful chats continued right up until the moment
that the lights came on in Rob’s garage.
– Oh wow. They’re the same bike, that makes it even better.
– That’s hilarious. We couldn’t of been
happier with our bikes. In fact it took me right back (bell dinging)
to Christmas 1994 which is probably when
these ones were built, but the point is, we were super excited for
tomorrow’s shenanigans. Right now though, it was
well and truly time for bed. Oh yeah, we were camping
in their garden by the way. All right, feels like the
end of the trip in a way. – [Greg] It does doesn’t it? – But it’s not ’cause tomorrow
we’re riding on these things. Our two bikes for the day.
– Yep. I think they will hold until–
– Until they break (laughing). – In the morning, we
left a little something in Sam’s letter box as a
thank you for saving our trip and hopped on our bikes
for the first time. Oh mate, this is smooth. I don’t wanna jinx it. (bell dinging) We made for the village
center which Robert had assured us had its own bakery. But we weren’t necessarily looking to run any errands just yet. See challenge number five on the list, but rather to reintroduce
things like sugar, fat, and gluten into our bloodstreams. Things that we would surely need if we were gonna carry out our ambitious plan to cycle to Vienna with our rucksacks on our backs and nothing but a list
of towns and villages that we needed to aim for along the way. Now I know what you’re thinking, Bratislava is right there. Why on earth would you
want to cycle to Vienna? It’s a very good question. The first answer is that we didn’t actually
know where we were. I mean I thought we were roughly here. The second answer is that
we’ve been kind of obsessed for a while now with the
idea of hitching a ride on a cargo boat down
the Danube from Vienna to Bratislava and we actually
had a couple a people working on that for us, one of whom
we could stay with in Vienna. But that was a long way off. In this particular bakery,
they didn’t have a clue what we were talking about
when it came to errands. – [Woman] Ooh, here, here, here, oh no. (speaking foreign language) – Job?
– Job? – No, no, no, no, no, no. Not to find a job. (speaking foreign language) I tried my best to translate the word, but it ended with this old man
offering us a permanent job at his friend’s vineyard down the road. – (speaking foreign language) the name. – Well everyone, these
are the noble steeds that are getting us to
Vienna hopefully today. Mine’s an old woman’s bike literally from Sam’s great grandmother. And that’s from what,
his grandfather we think? We’re not sure. All we know is they’re
clap trapped, they’re rusty. These tires have more cracks
in them then Watford’s defence at the moment and I think
there’s a good chance that these tires might go
down some way or another in the first sort of five miles. (light music) What’s the first town
mate we’re heading for? – I think Tadten. – Tadten here we come. (light music) – Morning.
– Morning. – So glad we’re biking
mate because I’ve had an absolute gut-full of hitchhiking. – I know what you mean, it’s just nice to be
able to propel yourself and just cruise through these villages. – [Greg] Stop when you want to stop. – Yeah. Making good ground at the moment. It’s flat as a pancake around here. Oh yes. There’s a bakery if ever I saw one. (speaking foreign language) Village bakery, third village. Me and my friend are filming. The lady behind the counter,
who I also confused instantly, summoned her son who
not only ran the show, but spoke good English too. So anything we can do for you. Post something, get
something from the shop, or clean, clean the windows, or anything. – Yeah, you can clean the windows. – Really? – If you want to you can
come back in the production, – Can we?
– That would be even better. As bakery as it can be. Fine, brilliant, thanks.
– Thank you. Big boss Michael then left us under the capable supervision of Phillip, who had us scrubbing the floury residue from the dough baskets. A job that you’d think
would be easy enough, but after your first five, just as your forearm starts to seize up, you quickly realize it’s not and then you look aver at Phillip and realize that he’s
actually buff as fuck. Then it all makes sense. Well, definitely running an
errand for this bakery mate. To say the least.
– To say the very least. – This is more of a
full-time job than an errand. But you know, whatever. But did we deserve a job? Is it good Michael? – Ah, it’s okay. – It’s okay.
(Greg laughing) – It’s okay. Michael, can you check Tom’s basket? – I haven’t finished, that’s not fair. Obviously impressed by my work, Michael entrusted me with a proper job. Thanks a lot Phillip. – Hey cheers Phillip.
– Cheers. – Thank you. – Just one tray?
– No, no, all of it. – The whole thing.
– Yeah. – [Tom] Okay, okay. – Give it a tug. – Oh yes, come to mama.
(Greg laughing) – It’s okay. You can stop now.
– Stop! Tripping over, they’re falling on you. – That’s excellent. – Wow.
– They’re really nice ones. – Golden brown.
– Yeah. Wow they look good. – So these go back in? I’m happy with that. – Did a good job.
– Thank you. (men laughing) Now for a sample.
– Still hot. Fucking hot.
– Yeah. (Tom laughing) – [Greg] Fucking hot. They’ll cool down in our hands. – Ooh, can we eat it yet? I don’t know man. – Good?
– Mm. – Just outta the oven.
– That is the best bread in Austria. I mean it really is. In all seriousness, it was
the nicest dough-based piece of food I’ve ever had. The perfect reward for our hard work with Phillip, who we bid farewell, along with Christian, the
hardest man west of the Danube, and of course, Michael,
our new favorite boss we’d ever worked for. (bell dinging) (speaking foreign language) – Wow. – We weren’t expecting that in any sense. – No. I was expecting at best like a, you know the little
shop front, the facade, you know maybe they let us, fucking hell.. (cat meowing) (speaking foreign language) So it was on to the next village to see what was in store for us there. What you saying Greg? Game of football in the next village? (light music) Thank you St. Andra,
you have served us well. Well we’ve served you well to be honest. (light music) Fucking hell. We may have gone slightly off track here. Any normal person would concede that this is not the right
way, but we don’t fear. Okay, I think we’re
actually just lost now. – Me too. – [Tom] Where we cycling to today Greg? – Vienna.
– Vienna apparently. – [Greg] seems unlikely at this
point, but, you never know. – [Tom] Which way to Vienna now? (light music) About a mile from our
next village we saw this. That is chongy cheds man,
I’m sorry, but it is. – [Greg] Smelly chongy cheds mate. – We might have stumbled across the most in plain view–
– Brazen weed farm I’ve ever seen. – [Tom] Genuinely confused,
we stopped an elderly couple to see if they knew what was going on. – Cannabis.
– Cannabis? (speaking foreign language) – [Tom] Turns out they were Dutch. The only Dutch people I’ve ever met who couldn’t speak English. But he could cheers Greg in Welsh. (speaking foreign language)
(men laughing) – Exactly yeah. – [Tom] Before having a good laugh with his wife at our expense. – Well this is a cannabis.
(wife laughing) – Podersdorf.
– Yeah. – See if the locals are absolutely baked off their ass around here. Tell you what, we’re baking,
I don’t know about baked. Sun’s really perking up now. On the side of the road in Podorf was a series of fruit stores which not only offered shade, but bursted with the colors
of countless local fruits and vegetables and the various condiments and beverages that can
be derived from them. So we asked the nice girl who worked there about the secret cannabis
farm down the road. – [Greg] Do teenagers come
and cut it and smoke it? – [Woman] No, no, you can’t smoke it. – [Tom] You can’t get high off it? – [Woman] No, no, no. – [Tom] Then she showed us something else that might get us feeling
somewhat lightheaded. This is a–
– All from our home here. – Oh nice.
– Yeah. – And what about this?
– It’s like half grape juice, and half wine.
– Wine. So it’s a little bit–
– And the longer it’s here, and it’s going to–
– Okay, the more alcoholic it will become.
– Yeah, yeah. Do you want to try a glass? – Uh sure, yeah.
– Yeah, why not. – You can just sit here.
– Yeah, okay. – Yeah, yeah.
– So, we sat back and enjoyed our grape juice wine hybrid to the sound of the local church bells. When the owner of the store, Stefan, a well-traveled, well-spoken man, took an interest in where we were from and what had brought us here to his table. – I’m originally from Wales.
– Wales? – Yeah.
– Cardiff, in the town. – One of my favorite cities
in whole United Kingdom. – [Greg] Yeah, it’s a good city. Tom is from Birmingham.
– Birmingham? What do you do in Austria? Especially here in
(speaking foreign language)? – Well, I’ve got a YouTube channel. – Oh really?
– Filming everywhere we go. – Oh, okay.
– I’m filming. – Okay, okay, okay.
– So we’ve been doing all sorts of crazy stuff. Stefan then fetched his
wife who had recently lived in Redditch near Birmingham
and probably wanted someone she could bond with over it’s shitness. – [Wife] It’s like I could
escape Redditch even. – [Greg] You could actually travel around. – [Tom] She then too took an
interest in our adventure, especially the concept of
using as many different modes of transport as we could find. – [Greg] We are missing the
horses, that would be great. – [Tom] And another one
we wanted was a tractor. – A tractor.
– Like a farmer tractor. – Wait, we have one, where is it? – [Greg] Oh my God. – We like to eat horse.
– Oh, you like to eat horse? Oh that’s fair enough. – That is the most, kind of cute tractor.
– Yeah, it’s a little bit too small. It’s not mine actually. – Okay.
– You been to the lake already?
– No. – No.
– No we haven’t. – There’s a beautiful
lake just down there. – Okay, let’s go.
– Really. – We need to pay for grapes though. – And the wine.
– On the house. – You sure?
– Yeah. – Oh man.
– Is that incredible? – [Tom] By the time we left, their entire workforce was standing by, one of whom questioned the
white powder on my hat. We worked in a bakery for–
– We worked in a bakery like an hour ago, so
– But we need to see the video.
– Yeah, yeah. – When it’s finished.
– I’ll give you the channel. – Yeah. – All right, yep.
– Hold on tight. – Hold on tight. I won’t go that fast.
– Yeah, yeah, yeah. (tractor rumbling) – Here’s another mode of
transport checked off. Oh shit, woo! – All right?
– Feel good. Oh my God.
(bell dinging) The ride down to the lake was
something I’ll never forget. – No refuge needed now.
– No. The sun was out. The locals were waving and hollering at us and we were riding freestyle on a 1961 Austrian-built tractor, thanks to more staggeringly lovely people. Best of all we were
technically making ground. We were venturing into pastures new and even though it was only
500 meters down the road, it was more beautiful
than we could’ve imagined. – [Greg] Oh yeah. It’s lovely down there. – [Tom] And just like that, it was over. – [Driver] Bye guys,
(speaking foreign language). – Well.
– Yeah, just carry on. (light music) Oh God, oh shit. (light music) We’re basically in a place where people go on holiday to cycle. I mean we genuinely didn’t plan that, we just basically stumbled across it. In the next town we kept our
eyes open for football games. We did find pitches, but sadly
they were missing players. Hot and hungry, we headed
into the center for some grub. – So it looks like they’re serving. – [Tom] Serving food? Sick mate. We stopped at an Italian joint where we ordered a
garlic based pasta dish, but with extra garlic which clearly we had an unexplainably strong
craving for, for some reason. Smells like garlic and
it’s fucking amazing. Well, we asked for garlic,
and by Jove we got it. It may have gone to
Greg’s head a bit though, because just as we went to leave, keen to crack on with
some much needed mileage, he brushed his leg against
the wooden decking outside of the restaurant and
got a painful splinter, hardly noticeable on the surface, but apparently very painful.
– Gonna need some tweezers. – [Tom] But as luck would have it, (bell dinging)
there was a pharmacy just over the road. Well that’s what we’ve just
extracted from Greg’s leg in the pharmacy. (speaking foreign language) The stern but caring
ladies who worked there had insisted that I perform the procedure, but did reward Greg’s bravery
with a Star Wars plaster. – Unless you’ve got Cinderella. – Ja, okay (sarcastically) – [Tom] On top of that,
the didn’t charge us a cent for the tweezers or the sterilized needle. Oh, good as new. Which I almost took with me. Thank you. – [Woman] Give me the needle – Oh yeah.
– Otherwise you will be back in ten minutes.
(men laughing) (speaking foreign language) – [Tom] After locating the monstrous void that was Greg’s splinter, we set off for our next town, Parndorf. – How’s your gooch doing mate? – All right.
– Is it? – [Tom] The only issue
apart from my aching gooch, was that Parndorf itself was only a third of the way to Vienna and
it was already 3:00 p.m.. At the moment we’d be lucky
if we were there before dark and that’s if we knew where we were going and didn’t get distracted easily. – Mate he’s knackered.
– Mate there’s a lorry coming, get him Ooh. – [Tom] Adder, could be
an adder couldn’t it? That’s gonna make a perfect meal. This will stay me to Pornsdorf,
Parndorf, (laughing). We basically had to decide
between all out cycling or hopping on a train to give us more time to find a football match. The house of God challenge
had sort of slipped away from us a bit until now. We’d gotten so hot and bothered on this particularly long stretch, that the idear of entering
the cold, stone shadows of a church was now so heavenly, that we both agreed that it
definitely constituted refuge. At the moment I’m just so
hot, I’m cooking out here. Really can’t wait to get in a, well we’ve got our heart set on a church. And obviously it’s one
– Could be an air-con store.
– Yeah, it could be an air-con supermarket.
– We’re gonna find it now. – [Tom] So we ventured
our way into Parndorf and started scouting the
horizon for a steeple. When, oh, thank God. Hello.
– Hello. – We’ve seen a church steeple. Up here somewhere. We’re desperately aiming for it. Oh there it is.
– Oh. – [Tom] There it is in all its glory. Wonder if they’ll take us in? Legs now weak with exhaustion, we battled our way up
to the humbling temple that was Parndorf Church. Other side, other side.
– Oh, I don’t think I can make it. – [Tom] Would the church door be open? Or would it be firmly locked? Alas, it was locked. Along with the side door. We were distraught. So much so that we snuck
around the back of the church to see if there was anyone we
could speak to around there. There’s hope. And there was. Hello.
(speaking foreign language) We come from Lichfield Cathedral. We have a look around churches
in Germany and Austria. (speaking foreign language) – [Tom] While the first lady went off, the other lady, who’s
passion for her church is almost reducing me to
tears just thinking about it, (speaking foreign language) told us about a brand new painting that had recently come to the church until the other lady
returned with great news. (speaking foreign language)
– Come on. – Okay.
– Thank you thank you. We’re very hot.
– Yeah, it’s hot. – We need to seek refuge, you know? The enthusiastic pair were more than happy to show us the steeple, the small chapel where I lit
a candle for my mate Jim, and the stunning, cool
sanctuary of the church nave. And that is another challenge completed (bell dinging) thanks to these lovely ladies. The kleidung of the vicar.
– Yes, yes (laughing). (speaking foreign language) – [Tom] As we left,
overwhelmed by the kindness and positivity of yet another group of our follow human beings,
we had to take a moment to reflect on it all. Genuinely, I’m cool. – Cool.
– Had a cultural experience a lovely, heartwarming experience and another challenge off the list. – Two lovely, lovely ladies.
– They’re laughing their heads off. – Today’s been about
laughing with other people. – Yeah, meeting people. Charitable, lovely people
and restoring your faith in humanity quite frankly. When you live in a city,
like Birmingham or London, it’s just, I don’t know,
people don’t find the time for each other.
– No. – You come out here and it’s just heartwarming
– Yeah. – Now all we need to do is
win a nightclub dance off and score a goal in a football game. By this point we’d conceded that if either of those were going to happen, or if we were actually going
to make it to Vienna full stop, we needed to get on a train. (siren squealing) To add delight, there was
a train that went straight to Vienna from Parnsdorf. I mean if we’d of known that Bratislava was actually 20 miles northeast of Parnsdorf, we might have reviewed the situation. But, we didn’t. So it was on to Vienna to carry out our own
much more stupid plan. Right, cycling across the
huge, busy city that is Vienna in rush hour. With no helmet, and in my case one hand as I’d lost the GoPro
head strap roughly here, we aimed to blag our way all the way over to the west of the city where Paula, Greg’s friend from university was kindly letting us stay the night. During our dicey dash across the city, we’d of course be keeping our eyes peeled for any Fifa-street style kick
abouts that there might be. I have absolute confidence
that we’re going the right way. Oh 100% mate. No, but we mean that.
-Total total confidence. But on the football front, the only street urchins we could find were passing about on bikes just like us. – I see a YouTuber, yeah?
– YouTuber, yeah! Ha, ha, ha, ha. Football looked like it would
have to wait until tomorrow. But we had gone west
and with a helping hand from Burger King’s plug sockets, we fucking gone and done it, we found Paula’s apartment. Safe and sound in Vienna. That evening, Paula took
us into town via tram. (bell dinging) Is this our 10th mode of transport Greg? – Number 11 I think. – [Tom] It was actually our
11th if you include taxis, but we were hoping to make
it 12 tomorrow morning down on the Danube where we planned to flag down a cargo barge. Right now though, we were
down on the Danube canal, sipping Ottakringers where straight away the presence of a different
kind of boat got us thinking. This could be what we might
be breaking onto tomorrow if things don’t go to plan. Basically, it’s big enough, i think
to hide, maybe. It was probably the two
Ottakringers talking, but at that moment it
felt like a strong option. And as the evening went on, we pretty much scrapped the barge idea and were fully in favor
of fudging a ferry. Mmm, fuck yeah. MISSING COMMENTARY: PREDICTABLY, THE NEXT DAY, WE GOT UP QUITE LATE (bike rumbling)
Oh, ow my gooch. Meaning we had no time
to hunt for footy games. Wow. Instead it was back through
the city where we caught a fleeting glimpse of some of its beauty. – Lovely city isn’t it?
– It’s fucking great. And straight back down to the Danube canal to try and get on a boat for free. Which, when you’re
hungover, it’s a lot more of a scary thought than
when you’re pissed. Especially when this is
what you’re dealing with. Right, our original plan
of trying to hitch a ride on a cargo boat on the
actual river Danube, about two miles that way was just, I don’t know, maybe it was
doable, but this is plan B. We’re gonna try and get
ourselves on the Twin City Liner. It’s a passenger boat that
goes from Vienna to Bratislava. If we can’t talk our way into it, maybe we’ll sneak on. But we’re gonna offer
our scrubbing services that we honed back at the bakery and see if we can get
to Bratislava in style. Realistically, sneaking
on wasn’t an option. If we were gonna do this, we would need to put on
our best persuasive charm because we weren’t in
the countryside anymore, we were in the city where money talks. Hi (speaking foreign language). Of course. We’re doing an adventure
across Europe involving, it’s gonna be a series
on YouTube involving as many modes of transport
as possible across Europe and we’re finishing in Bratislava. – Okay.
– I wondered if we could in exchange for a trip, we
could advertise the service, the brand on the channel? – [Man] I’m too low for this decision. – Do you know the guy
who makes the decision? – Actually she’s a lady.
– Oh, sorry. That’s ignorant of me. – [Man] She’s nice, but I
don’t know how flexible. So, she’s Eva.
– Eva. – [Man] She’s the manager
of the Twin City Liner. You can try.
– See what she says. – [Man] Yeah, I cannot promise anything. – Thanks (bleep), I’ll give her a ring. Cheers.
– Thank you, bye. – Okay, this is the woman apparently. Let’s give her a bell.
– Come on. – [Tom ] But Eva’s phone was lifeless. (phone beeping) – [Greg] Send it again. – [Tom] So, not sure what else to do, we decided to return
to the guy on the desk, tell him the boss wasn’t
answering her phone, and try and convince him one
last time to help us out. – [Man] But please don’t
advertise me on any of– – [Tom] No, no, no, no,
no, I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t. He had allowed us to go on
through without a ticket and speak to the captain. Are you the captain?
– Yeah. – [Tom] Who we explained the
whole situation to again. This time putting emphasis on the working, helping out side of things. Do you have any tasks, or cleaning, or anything that we could do?
– Nothing Nautical. Ask the restaurant.
– Yeah? – Yeah.
– Yeah, okay. – [Captain] Do it in five minutes. – [Tom] Okay, well we’ll go down there. Thanks a lot. He was onboard and so were we. Okay, in many ways we just want to order like a- Tuna Panini and just chill out on this boat.
– Chill the fuck out. – But, what’s happened is they’ve arranged a job for us in exchange
for our trip to Bratislava. We have no idea what it will be. – Apparently it’s not nautical though. It’s gonna be the restaurant,
so it could be hot washing, it could be–
– Hopefully not. – Well hopefully not, could
be mopping the floors. It could be–
– It could be serving people on a really busy, torrid shift. But we’ll see, he’s coming over now. Be he didn’t come over at all. He went straight to his cockpit, leaving us to explain to the staff that we were supposed
to be working with them. An idea that this poor guy
really wasn’t on board with. For a few minutes, we thought
we’d got off scott free, but then this guy turned up again and led us outside to
a little red cabinet. Inside of which was a bucket,
somehow already filled with soapy water and
this little device here. A squeegee. I’d always wanted to
give this a go actually, the scrub and swipe and I have
to say it didn’t disappoint. It’s even better than I imagined. It’s okay? My first time.
– First time, okay. – [Tom] Greg adopted a
slightly different technique for the opposite side, but before either of us could even begin to improve our technique, we were done. – [Greg] 60 euros saved,
and two windows clean. – That’s probably 60 beers
in Bratislava so pretty good. Thanks man, I appreciate it. The ferry we were on was actually rapid and it really wasn’t long before we’d crossed the Slovakian border and approaching its capital. Here we are. Bratislava. (bell dinging) But what did it have in store for us? Well, in the spirit of the entire trip, we decided to wonder aimlessly into town to have a look around. In doing so we came across
the perfect opportunity to fool a few tourists, before making our way past this guy who almost supplied me
with the best footage of the entire trip. Past this girl, up, up who almost supplied me
with the most horrific and to the nearest hostel
where we could recoup and make a speech. Well, we’ve made it. We’re in Bratislava, there’s the proof. Yeah, I mean.
(both laughing) – There’s no more traveling
to do for this trip. This is the end, Bratislava. And we managed to get a pretty nice view of the city really at sunset. So, it’s been a great trip. Ups and downs, mainly ups to be honest and it’s just a great feeling of adventure throughout this trip. It’s been so many different countries and so many different experiences. – And so many lovely people.
– Yeah, just great, great. It’s a surprise when you
put yourself out there, people can be often very willing to help and I think that’s
something that we’d all feel a lot better for if we
went out and did it. – Yeah, it’s inspiring.
– Inspiring stuff. – But, it’s not over. We’ve still got this town to paint red. (both laughing)
Let’s do it. Cheers boys. An hour later we met a
sound Aussie guy called Alex and enjoyed a slap up Slovakian meal and a few beers with him. Nightclub dance off was still possible. But, our chance to score a goal we thought had all but gone. Alex thought otherwise. He told us to get back out there and try and find a football pitch and give this one last bloody good go. So, four pints down,
(bell dinging) that’s exactly what we did. Having had a quick glance
at Alex’s Google Maps, we headed back down to the river to try and find a series
of pitches located about two kilometers upstream. I’ve got a really good
feeling about this mate. I really have. Rightly or wrongly. We’ll soon see. ♪ I want to ride my bicycle ♪ ♪ I want to ride my bike ♪ ♪ I want to ride my bicycle ♪ ♪ I want to ride it where I like ♪ We absolutely bombed it
along the flat surface of the riverside path,
keeping our eyes open for flood lights. Then, oh yes, it’s lit up. It is lit up mate. – [Greg] Oh my God, there
is football going on. I don’t believe it. – [Tom] Oh my God. But that’s a proper game. Pissed up in Bratislava. About to join a football
game or at least try. Just trying to gauge the standard here. It’s great, it’s absolutely great. For awhile we watched
nervously from the sidelines as big Martin Skrtel-type
figures charged each other down and stroke the ball around confidently. Now me and Greg can both play, but inviting ourselves
into such a physical, high-tempo game, with potential nutters, was a nerve-racking thought. Even four pints down. There was another game to our right which looked slightly less scary, but when I spoke to one of the subs, he said that it was just about to finish. It looked like the clash of
the Skrtel’s was our only hope. Or was it. Okay, the far pitch is finished,
this one is still playing, but we’ve just noticed this
little game going on over here. Looks a bit less official,
we’re gonna pester them. We approached David Luiz who was on the sidelines where he belongs and asked him if we could
join in for five minutes. – [David] We’ll have to ask the guy in the
Barcelona shirt – [Tom] Okay, okay, okay. Would Rakitic who was currently putting in a shift let us join in? – So, you can play with them. They’re in dark jerseys.
– Yeah. – Shirts.
– Sure, sure. – And you can play with them.
– You’re going to also GoPro here.
– Nice, okay, could you film? – Of course I can.
– Appreciate it. – I’m movie guy. Okay, so guys going to play
from Geneve out here right now. I hope that he get a hat trick. So let’s see, let’s see
what these going to do. – Okay. – Neymar, right there, Barcelona. – [Tom] My first contribution to the match apart from running around like a madman, was to pass the ball straight
to an opposition player and then proceed to wipe him out. – [Man] Ooh, some collision right there. – [Tom] Not long after
the I was put in goal where I made a string of brilliant saves to keep our team in front. (ball smacking) Some of the more
bald-headed men pulled out a few tricks for the cameras and there were some tidy goals flying in from time to time as well. (hands clapping) Keen to prove that I was
more than just a goalie, I charged back out and
came painfully close with this post shattering effort (ball smacking)
before coming off on account of not being
able to breathe anymore. I’m fucked man. Greg it’s up to you now mate.
(Tom panting) Unsure whether I’d kicked
my last ball or not, I watched Greg’s rasping
shot clearly heading for the side netting, cruelly blocked. Before being summoned
back on for one last go and a minute later, thanks to a bit of great determination and skill from our first cameraman, I
was threaded through on goal, surely I couldn’t miss now. – That’s it!
– Challenge done. Challenge done. (bell dinging) I’d done it. I’d joined a local football
game and scored a goal, but Greg was determined
to have the final say. Skinning me alive, charging
down his favored left wing and rattling the post
with a venomous shot. I knew he was gagging to score. With three minutes to go in the game, he was teed up on the corner of the box for a chance that required
a lot more accuracy than mine did.
(hands clapping) Needless to say he slotted it beautifully into the far corner with his
magic wand of a left peg. – I’ll let you guys play. I just wanted to score. – [Tom] I soldiered on
for about another minute before calling it a night. – Yo Thank you!
– Thanks a lot (Slovakian) Ciao, bye. – Put her there, now we both scored. Both complete the challenge, yeah. Greg just had to have his goal since I had mine.
– Right, I did. There was no way I was
coming off that pitch – The difference was Greg’s was slotted in, mine was sort of fumbled in by the keeper, but they all count, they all count. – [Greg] They all count, there all goals. – [Tom] And that very nicely concludes the story of our adventure. Plans to meet up with Alex and paint the town red
never came to fruition because we had no way of finding him. (speaking foreign language) And every bar me and Greg went
to when we did venture out was filled with jubilant
Croation football fans. (crowd singing) That and my early flight in the morning meant that winning a nightclub dance off would sadly have to wait
until our next adventure. This trip though had been about much more than just the challenges. It had been about exploration,
mischief, highs, and lows, but perhaps most significantly,
it had been about people, interaction, kindness, hospitality, treating others how you would
like to be treated yourself. A mantra that’s so readily
forgotten in today’s world. And what of the bikes? Well, it was about time
we gave something back to the people of Europe. Much like with the kayaks,
we had limited time to get rid of them. But the pleasant waitress
who served us breakfast was as deserving a candidate as any and in the spirit of
the trip, she accepted. Okay, well I’ll leave this for you then. – Thank you very much.
– You’re welcome. Happy laughter or shocked
laughter, we don’t know, but it was a nice way to end the trip. – Bye.
– Bye. – Thank you.
– Bye. Greg would go on to donate his bike to an orphanage in Vienna, but not before we shared
the final goodbye of many. The trip was an absolutely pleasure mate. – What a trip mate. – [Tom] Don’t you worry
though, it won’t be the last. (light music)

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