First Date

First Date


First dates.
I’ve had plenty of first dates. But, hardly any second dates.
Since I already met Paul at the bar, let’s call this date number two.
Hope you like white. It’s all I have. I do.
Just to stop by inevitable journey towards becoming a crazy cat lady.
Busy social life? No, I’m just checking my schedule.
Trying to trade a trip so I don’t have to fly with this bitch.
I find your job absolutely fascinating. Freshmen year of college I failed English
lit and I said to myself ‘Screw this I’m just going to become a flight attendant and I won’t
need this degree.’ I actually have an English degree.
Oh, awkward. Sorry.
Don’t worry I’m used to all the stereotypes. Just do me a favor, don’t call me an air mattress.
It hits too close to home. Sordid past?
No, I um had to sleep on one when I started this job.
So, still have back problems. Oh, you okay?
Choking? Oh, oh, oh boy.
Uh, stand up! Stand up! Uh, shit! shit! shit!
I’ve never had to do this before on a real person.
I gotta get behind you. Um, okay, ah.
Now, this might hurt. Um, make a fist.
Find the spot. Oh, you work out.
Um, one. Two. Wait, wait, wait!
Wait, wait, wait! I think I got it.
Okay. Well, that was strike number two.
I wonder how else I can embarrass myself this evening.
This is a refreshing change for me. Usually I’m the one embarrassing myself.
(not really french) Tu parles le français?
No, not after that night. You pick up a few phrases on the job.
That’s too bad. There’s a French film festival going on this weekend.
I was going to invite you. I leave on a London trip on Friday.
Glamorous! Trust me, it’s not as exciting as it sounds.
We could go to the movies when I get back Sunday.
I can’t. Sam’s parents are in town and we have to entertain them.
You know. In-law stuff. Sam?
My husband. Oh.
Oh you didn’t notice… Ah that’s right I’m having my ring resized.
You know we’ve been married a few years now but we just became open relatively recently
because Sam travels so much. Probably not as much as you though.
Oh god this isn’t your thing, is it? No, it’s fine.
Your mood changed, what’s wrong? Nothing.
Nothing? Yeah, nothing.
And not like nothing which really means something. Just nothing. Like really nothing.
Oh thank god. I mean, sorry, it’s work.
Hello When do I have to be at the airport?
Okay, thank you. Bad news?
I have to go. I was assigned an early morning flight and I have to pack and do laundry so.
Hey, you can be honest with me. If this isn’t your thing, it’s totally fine.
No, I’m cool. I can’t wait to meet Sam.
Why did you say that? Well the in-laws are only in town for a few
more days, I suppose after they leave. I think Sam will like you.
How long have you been flying? Damn! Fourty-two years.
Must be tough on your husband and family. Oh hun, you had to be single to be hired in
my day. You meet your husband on the plane.
Most of my friends met theirs. But, I was having too much fun.
Too much! Who needs a man anyway.
These are my kids. Check this out.
Whiskers, Sir Spottington, and lil Peanut Butter over there.
He’s chunky.

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