It all began with a “let’s go to United States?” Yes! Then they were! The plan was: stay 3 months in Florida then drive to California stopping in every city on the way. The plan looked good. And it was! Now you’re going to see what happened with Viajei Bonito in the lands of Lord Obama. They landed in New York City. Wait… is New York in Florida? Fuck! We’re screwed! Just kidding. That was part of the plan to buy cheap flight tickets. They flew to Florida. Wait again… do they fly? Are they birds? No, they were on a plane. They landed in Tampa – which doesn’t look like a pot cover (in portuguese they’re the same word). And then they headed to Ruskin. Wow, I just founded out that I don’t know how to say Ruskin. After three weeks they bought a car: “Odyssey”. A kind and healthy car, built in 1779. From May to July they visited a lot of beaches in the west and in the east of Florida. They also visited the Keys! But they made the mistake of sleeping in the car!
Then decided to sleep in the car again only if it’s inside a house with air conditioner. They went to Miami 3 or 4 times but didn’t see anything! I think they’re weird. But I don’t want to judge. Besides those towns they also went o Sarasota, known for its porn studios, Sanibel, Devil’s Den, some good beaches and outlets. One week before the trip they went to The Bahamas. To make a wedding photo shooting and to contemplate the beaches. Then flew back to USA to start the road trip. The day arrived! They barely sleep. They woke up at 6 AM, took the road and at 6h15 AM they had to stop to sleep in a gas station because Adriano was sleeping on the wheel. They woke up at 9 AM and then moved on to Atlanta. They visited the Walking Dead sets. They also saw a lot of urban art in the Downtown. But didn’t arrive in time for the Olimpic Games. They spent a week there. And on the last day, while visiting a state park, they saw a yellow dot on the parking floor. That was Tobias, the duck. He was abandoned by a heartless baby. The policy still looks for this baby to charge him for duck abandoning. But Adriano and Gisele don’t care about bureaucracy and adopted the duck Tobias was now part of the team. With Tobias as a guide they headed up to Memphis, city of Elvis Presley. That was only a weekend but Gisele made sure to see all of its main attractions. However, Adriano spent 90% of the time searching for available parking slots. When he founded, it was already time to go. They hit the road again driving to New Orleans, where they stayed a whole week in a crazy hostel! For the first time, Odyssey relaxed in the garage for 2 days because there was good public transportation there. Well, let’s change the subject. After a week they hit the road again to visit a well known state: Texas! We learned there how to greet. Leaving the stereotype aside, Texas is like any state in US. Is has: Humans, houses and oxygen. Oh! One old barbecue house too! Awesome one! First they visited Houston, we have a problem, and then Dallas. In Dallas Gisele founded another duck on the street called Dabul. Tobias and Dabul had a few problems together. They were involved in sexual scandals and the justice put a restraining order on them. That’s why Dabul wasn’t in our social networks during the trip. He’ll be given to another human in Brazil. Leaving Texas they headed up to a part of the road that will be unforgiving: The Route 66. Fucking awesome road! The first destination was Oklahoma City, where they slept in a motel and did overcome the fears learned by the old Hollywood movies. After a good night of sleeping in sheets and pillows unchanged since 1945. They headed up to Albuquerque, new Mexico passing through the famous Harley store, the Cadillac Ranch, the ghost town of Glenrio and also through Midway Point. Seriously, look at their YouTube channel, I’m not paid to be listing everything here… Take it easy, girl… Breath, count to 10… Ok… I’m good. Let’s move on. A week passed in Albuquerque and they made the Breaking Bad RV Tour. And also a scaring ghost tour visiting places in the city where people saw strange things and other phenomena. They left the tour with dirty diapers. After New Mexico they headed up north. To Santa Fe. There’s a video on their YouTube channel. After a weekend in Santa Fe, they started to move up to Denver. Oh, Crazy Denver! The legalized town! In Denver they found an old friend, visited a high mountain and walked through the downtown and decided to remove Yellowstone for logistic matters. They redid their route to Salt Lake City. In the way they produced an awesome video showing how the roads from Colorado to Utah change from the “Green Santa Claus” to the “Red Woody Woodpecker”. WTF, I didn’t know what I just said now… In Salt Lake City they visited the … SALT LAKE and the main square which started the city construction and founded out that Odyssey was leaking oil. He dirtied the host’s garage. They decided to ignore that and keep moving. Even if they had to push the car, it’d be cheaper than fixing it! On the weekend they started to move south to one of the most memorable moments of the trip: The Extraterrestrial Highway. They visited Rachel, a restaurante that serves ET jerk beef, the entrances of Area 51 and they met the
ET with Vagina (reference to ET de Varginha in Brazil) Waaaaaaaaat? No, it’s not an ET with Vagina. I said ET de Varginha… you got it wrong. Well, after being abducted, they arrived in Las Vegas. Ohhhh, crazy town!!! They liked that place so much that they spent 2 weeks instead of 1, and also made a visit to Monument Valley. Awesome. Well, back in Las Vegas, they spent a lot of time in casinos spending money that they don’t have and winning imaginary money. They left the down with 70 dollars less than they arrived. Adriano insists that they have to go back to redeem that money, but Gisele is stopping him. In Las Vegas they also went to non-casino attractions and registered everything in in a video critically acclaimed. Talking about that, we saw Steven Spielberg on the street. But that’s another history. Still in Vegas, they got married in a drive thru marriage chapel, this time with a best man! Mateus Stock! And their most recent friends, Edinardo and Marci, which were the witnesses. That was their first marriage with Brazilian humans on the ceremony. That was awesome! On that day they drunk a lot and again, lost all of the trip money in casinos. In the meantime, Odyssey was begging to be fixed. And started to show up new motor problems and strange noises. The solution to the strange noises was to increase the music volume. Leaving Las Vegas they drove to the last state of the road trip: California. They know they’d have to spend a kidney to buy food and gas, then booked in a place called: Chino Hills. Then realized the mistake… This town distance to Los Angeles downtown is exactly the same distance between United States and Uruguay. Those days were spent on traffic and on the toilet because of some burgers… The small list of attractions they visited includes: the Santa Monica Pier and the Walmart store. On the last day of road they visited Malibu, which in Tupi (Brazilian indian language) has no meaning at all… then headed straight to the last city of the road trip: San Francisco. On the road they stopped in a lighthouse and by the pictures I saw they left there frozen. Well, it looks like it was cold. They spent 6 months in hot places, now this… In San Francisco they sold Odyssey and made a deal with Tobais and Dabul to behave during the flight they donated what they don’t need anymore and flew back to Brazil. There were more than 180 days on the road in 25 YouTube episoded. They hope you liked to travel with us. Well, in my opinion all of this trip can be summarized in only one word: TRIP! Thanks for watching! See you next Sunday.